Unemployed? How Drinking Can Help

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Most of you know I’m on the job hunt. And if you didn’t, you do now. This whole ‘job search’ thing has been an exercise in extremes for yours truly. I’ve affectionally taken to calling it “My Bipolar Life”. The peaks. Oh, the peaks are glorious. Sunshine, triple rainbows, unicorns and gumdrops. But the valleys? The valleys have sent me into the deepest despair. My drama queen tendencies and insecurity issues were learned at the knee of the best. No really. You should meet my mom. Let’s just say the knock-backs have the feel of a Louisville Slugger square to the temple.

Fight On

But, I’m a fighter. You can read about that – and other bits of who I really am – here. So I get up, dust off, give my head a shake, and dive back in. Anyone else who’s on this same search knows the routine intimately. Write cover letters and send resumes into the ether, slap the smile back on, and network, network, network. Meet new people. Call in favours. Ask people for referrals. Try and reduce your stress levels by eating right and exercising. All the things the job hunt pros tell you to do.

Drink On

But I’m a job hunt pro myself now, and sometimes, you just need to drink. By drinking I mean get out of the house and shake off the stress. Go to your local – even better if it’s a bit of a dive bar (Note: if you live in a hoity-toity section of town don’t leave the house). This serves two purposes: you can hang out with people that A) are worse off than you are, which – if you’re honest – makes you feel better about yourself unless you’re Mother Teresa (which I most definitely am not!) or B) are your fabulous friends who know you inside and out and can make you laugh until your gut is splitting.

Laugh On

They say that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter and vodka. Actually, throw a great job into that shaker and it would be the perfect cocktail! But take some advice from a pro: don’t overdo it. And there are a number of reasons for this:

  • You’re unemployed. And chances are you’re also kinda broke. Learn to pace yourself to get the best out of the evening. And to avoid the humiliation of asking your 12 year old if you can borrow 20 bucks.
  • You’ll wake up the next morning with a hangover. And chances are you’ll be even more depressed than you were the day before. And end up at the bar again. It’s a vicious circle. Or so they *koff* tell me.
  • You might post something like this: ***“OMG it’s only 6:43 pm and I’m already SMASHED!! Wheeeee!! LMAOF!” And chances are that high level executive you’ve been job-courting is online at that very moment. And hits retweet.

Ok, all kidding aside, drinking won’t actually help you get a job. But it might just help you shake off the blues, surround yourself with people who will say nice things about you (KEY), and allow you a couple of hours where you aren’t wound up tighter than a top with fear, self doubt and worry. Give yourself a gift and take a break. Oh, and take three Tylenol with a large glass of water before you go to bed. :)

***NOTE: This is a purely fictional tweet. At least in my case. 

Rant: How Social Media Is Like Bad Sex

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Remember when that blue Honda driving dude you adored dumped you unceremoniously on your birthday, then hooked up with your best friend (or worse, your MOM!)? Remember after when suddenly every single car on every single street was a blue Honda? The social media space is a bit like that at times. Especially blogging. Every so often, trends pop up in the blog world. No matter where you surf or stumble, every Twitter link you click on contains the same ‘style’ of post. And there’s one particular style these days that’s seriously getting on my last nerve.

How Social Media Is Like ‘X’

Lately, the ‘style du jour’ for blogging seems to be “How Social Media is like X”. You know what I’m talking about. How Social Media is like a trip to the zoo, a cupcake, a sunrise. That old adage about ‘everything in moderation’? Well, there are a few companies out there who should write that old adage down and tape it to their collective foreheads. I’m not suggesting your corporate blog can’t have a bit of fun. There’s a place for posts like these. In fact, they can – and should – be used as placeholders, so to speak. Breathing room. A break from the deluge of information and real data that flows outta that god forsaken firehouse every minute of every day. Some of them are quite cute – wink wink nudge nudge. But often, when I see them appear again and again on a corporate blog, the first thing that pops into my head is “lazy”. Lazy writing. Lazy editorial. Lazy idea generation.

Who’s A Self Righteous Jerk?  

I’m not going to name and shame, because that’s A) not my style and B) not the point of this post. Also, I did consider if by writing this I would be called out for being a Social Media Self-Righteous Jerk but, what the heck, I’m sure that the 10 people who follow my blog aren’t going to mind, and the people who know me, know I’m not self-righteous. Though I can be a jerk at times. ;)

On that note: this morning I spent all of 15 minutes (that should tell you something) coming up with my own, tongue in cheek versions of “How Social Media is like X”

How Social Media Is Like…: 

Chewing Gum:

  1. It comes in a shiny wrapper.
  2. It tastes good at first, then loses its flavour.
  3. Dentures aside, it’s best when it’s sticky.

Your Grandma’s Smelly Afghan:

  1. You’re the only person in your family who’ll go near it.
  2. It’s easy to poke holes through.
  3. It helps you feel less alone in the cold dark night.

Bad Sex:

  1. You call *that* a firehose?
  2. Eventually, the lights will turn on.
  3. There really isn’t a return on investment!

A Car Crash:

  1. You try hard not to, but always end up looking.
  2. People can get hurt.
  3. But if it bleeds, it leads!

Content Rules! 

Ok, the Bad Sex one is pretty good. :) But content is more than just words on paper. Content – especially corporate content – should provide a real return for the people who are using up their valuable time to consume it. Your clients. Your stakeholders. Your followers. I get that people seem to like list’y posts. I like a list as much as the next person. But *too many* lists containing no real content, over and over again, make me glaze over. Do some research. Find an interesting stat. Include a link to a related science article – do something!

One trick I’ve noticed used in these lists is including an SM related meme or phrase in your title – hey, hey, lots of retweets that way, right!? Sharing might equal caring – but high numbers of tweets and shares does not always equal success. If numbers are all you’re looking for, please, just post some cute cat videos. To the moon, Alice!

How Social Media is like…YOU, leaving a comment!! Share your own, below!  :)

 

 

Social Love: Take THAT Writer’s Block!

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I’ve been suffering head splitting writer’s block these past few weeks. When I get writer’s block, what actually happens is that my noggin swims with hundreds of snippets and ideas and thoughts that I *want* to write about – but it becomes so jumbled and jangled that I end up paralyzed and unable to put pen to paper, so to speak.

Another superiffic side effect of said head swimming is that I get seriously bummed. Like, deep down dogs-barking depressed. Which only adds to the paralysis – “Well, I can’t write *now* because I’m all moody and miserable and maudlin…!” – you catch my drift.

What Would My Twitter Friends Do?

So, yesterday I did what any self-respecting mid-winter depressive would do: I reached out to Twitter, and asked my friends their opinions. I wanted to know if they wrote when they were bummed, or did they worry their mood would cloud their content? The responses were immediate and inspiring. So much so, that I wanted to share.

The talented Byron Fernandez (sings *and* plays piano!?) reached out initially with this:

As artists, writing often seems 2B cathartic. For me, if I can’t get to a piano, I have to write. Hobbies def ease the pain!

Spot on! While I consider myself more of a hack than an artist, writing has worked me through some of the deepest, darkest moments of my life. It is definitely cathartic, and when I can’t exorcise whatever demons are bouncing around upstairs, I get really crunchy. Said crunchy’ness then begets more blockage. It’s a vicious circle. Is it too late to learn how to play piano…?

Write With Emotion

Adding to what Byron mentioned, my super-smart friend Tyler Orchard sent this:

If you can use that emotion to benefit your writing the final result is incredible.

Tyler is a thoughtful, articulate writer. And he too was bang on. Emotion drives most of my writing, but I feel safer expressing things like frustration or face-palm’age rather than writing from sadness or insecurity. Being strong, ‘one against the world’ and a do-it-myself’er got me where I am today, for better or worse – revealing personal weakness makes me want to crawl into a hole. I still felt hobbled.

Let Emotion Inform, Not Define

Then my bourbon loving brother Jason Konopinski had this to add:

The morose & pensive might inform my writing but never defines it. ;)

At which point I laughed and laughed! Because I like to tease Jason, and he’s got a wonderful sense of snark. And he ended up calling me a jerk. Which I can be at times. A loving jerk though. But he made me stop and think – why was I so concerned about it “defining” my writing..? At heart, I knew it wouldn’t, because I’m not much of a public woe-is-me whiner (see above). But the fear was there and Jason nailed it. More gnashing of teeth as I debated how to approach my blog. And my block.

Just Write, Woman!

Finally, I received this from Liz Scherer, someone I highly respect and whose friendship I value immensely:

Just start putting words down on paper. Only you can hit publish but you may be surprised by how good it is!

And that’s exactly what I needed to do. Just start writing. Whatever comes out. Break the block, and stop letting it control me. But what if it’s terrible? What if I’m a moan’y miserable mess who ends up saying nothing of value…?  Did I mention that Liz is also a mind reader….? :) Such simple words but with so much impact – just write it woman! And if you want to publish, publish, if not who cares!

Social Love

Yesterday I harnessed the power of social media. I wasn’t afraid to ask for help and be a little bit vulnerable (a feeling, as mentioned, that I absolutely *abhor*), and this morning I finally did it. I just put words on paper. And it felt right to write about the experience, how these tweets quite literally gave me a narrative! And to give public props to these people – my friends – who each took a minute out of their busy morning to give me a much needed (but gentle!) kick in the arse. My sincerest thanks.

Take a lesson from me – our social media worlds/communities tend to be viewed primarily through business goggles. We share digital PR, marketing and communications statistics and articles. We talk about updates and the latest innovations. But don’t forget how personal it can be also – and don’t be afraid to reach out.

Would love to know what you think? How has SM helped you personally recently? Don’t be afraid to leave a comment! :)  

Social Media Schadenfreude

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I’ll confess. I’m a word geek. I like knowing the history of words, and I love how certain words feel in the mouth. Schadenfreude is one of those words. Come on, say it with me: ‘shahd-n-froi-duh’.

Schadenfreude is a German word, first used somewhere around 1895. Its roots are ‘schaden’ – meaning ‘damage’. And ‘freude’ – meaning ‘joy’ (‘schadenfreude/German’ jokes welcome in the comments section). A standard dictionary will tell you it means “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.” And whoever raises their hand in protest to announce they’ve never experienced schadenfreude is going to get a big fat rock thrown through their big fat glass house.

Altruistic Punishment

In fact, studies have shown that humans are hardwired for schadenfreude, that the feeling of satisfaction we get from meting out altruistic punishment may have evolved to keep human societies intact.

Yes, it’s poetic justice when when the bullying boss gets publicly dressed down. And there wouldn’t be a market for Hollywood reporting if we all didn’t get a kick out of “Hot Stars With Cellulite”.

Social Cellulite

Social media is rife with metaphorical cellulite. We call them ‘fails’. You can’t swing a cat lately without hitting an article about an online ad campaign that tanked or a rogue tweet that lit up the Twittersphere. And yes, they’re fun to watch. But there are a lot of organizations nailing social media. Maybe they just ‘get’ that their customers are actual human beings – people they trust. Or they dealt with a rogue tweet with compassion and humour. Or they’re simply connecting with potential leads via strategic listening and an honest approach.

No More Schadenfreude

So, for 2012, enough with the schadenfreude. From Morton’s Steakhouse delivering to an airport, to a witty American Red Cross defusing an accidental tweet (and *gasp* not firing the poor sap!), to the Apple Store manager who had a heart, and made a little 10 year old girl’s day (that classy act honoured Steve Jobs’ memory more than an hour of silence ever could) - there was lots to feel proud and positive about in social media.

I for one will be **making every effort this year to resist that gleeful tingle when I see a social media misstep or even a full on face plant. God knows, the next time it could be me. Or you.

**Note: I’ll still be my cynical, eye rolling, crabby self in all other areas of my life.

What are your thoughts? Do we spend enough time celebrating social media wins? Why the constant focus on the losses? 

Why I Killed 10 Kittens – And Why It Has To Stop

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Anyone who knows me, follows me or has had the pleasure of engaging with me in the odd Twitter chat or two knows that I hate – nay, despise – buzzwords. Business speak. That gobbledy gook of catchphrases and say nothing terminology that some organizations even have an in house dictionary for. You know, if you need an in house dictionary for your staff…..you might have communication problems.

Anyhow, as I’ve been know to say a time or two (or ten):

Buzzwords Kill Kittens!

Kitten Killers Anonymous 

Well, I’m about to ‘fess up. I just *killed at least ten kittens. Probably more. And I was quite literally forced to do it. I know, I know, it’s so easy to blame others. But this time, it’s the truth.

I submitted a job application that was lousy with buzzwords. Crawling with them, in fact. And I did it in order to get through one of two things (or both):

  1. Keyword scanning software
  2. The Human Resources department

It’s no secret that these days many companies from the Fortune 500 down use software to digitally scan your resume looking for relevant keywords – when they find them, your resume gets flagged as ‘interesting’ (LOL!) and sent on to a human being.

Pity The HR Employee

In many cases – and please, with all due respect to those who toil in the field – the person it ends up with works in Human Resources, which for many large organizations is about as far removed from the day to day world of the job you’re applying for as chalk is to cheese. So what are these poor HR people looking for when they scan your resume and/or cover letter…? I’ll tell you one thing – they aren’t looking for character, personality, sense of humour, or attitude. They’re looking for keywords! Boom – dead kittens.

 

Hire For Attitude

Fast Company magazine co-founder Bill Taylor wrote about this in Harvard Business Review. In the article, he focusses on three diverse companies – ING Direct, Southwest Airlines and the Special Care Center in Atlantic City. All three have realized that “…you can’t create something special, distinctive, and compelling in the marketplace unless you build something special, distinctive, compelling in the workplace. And the best way to build something special in the workplace is to hire for attitude and train for skill.” Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Who Are You Missing?

Understandably, not every company has the resources and/or infrastructure to be such tangential thinkers – to seek out and then train, coach and value the person behind the resume, and spend the time figuring out what makes them tick. And I get that organizations are inundated with thousands of resumes, and need an efficient way to separate the wheat from the chaff. But in my opinion, keyword scanning software (and other types of simplistic keyword scanning) just isn’t it. These days, at most companies, in every industry, tens of thousands of qualified candidates won’t even get an interview, let alone a call back, because they haven’t used the correct buzzwords.

Inside Baseball 

In my case, I had a connection who was able to feed me some ‘inside baseball’. I was told flat out to use catchphrases and buzzwords (meoowww!) gleaned directly from the job description itself. As many as possible. The jargon’ier the better in fact! Because if I didn’t – fact – there was no chance it would clear through HR, and eventually, possibly, maybe reach the desk of the person with whom I might actually be working.

So, with a heavy heart, I wrote the dang thing. A faustian deal. Because if my package reaches said person, all they’ve got is a buzzword filled bunch of baloney that says exactly nothing about me, the person. It’s void of character. Void of personality. Definitely void of kittens. I had to kill them all to get an interview!

I Heart Kittens & So Should You

Presumably you’re hoping to hire a human being. Someone with charm and wit and quirks and quarks. God only knows how many people you’ll have to interview, how much time you’ll have to waste and how many *wrong* hires you’ll have to make to find that person. Because the only resumes on your desk are as rote and mechanical as the system you’re using to narrow down your candidates.

With all the outstanding people out there working with and creating incredible new software platforms every day – can’t we find a better way? Can’t we make this inefficient system of sourcing candidates stop?

 

Please. I beg of you. Think of the kittens.

*NOTE: No kittens were actually harmed in the writing of the aforementioned job application. Or this blog post.

Would love your thoughts on this subject. Are you job hunting and dealing with the same keyword crap? Maybe you think it’s a great way to get your resume to the top of the pile? Maybe you hate kittens…!? Please share below.  

 

Social Media Secret Santa

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December’s a funny month. While we’re all “G’ah!! Winter!!” we’re also all “Uh. What?? Christmas is here already!?” December might be the only month of the year where we spend the *entire* month focussed on one event. For some of you, that focus starts even earlier (who *are* you people!?). Those of us who’ve been around the block a few times know this same focus happens in the business world. What starts in a mad scramble of end of year reports, wrapping up projects and planning for 2012, ends with Secret Santas, in-office parties and out of office parties. Lots of parties. Basically, if you’re on the job hunt at this time of the year, you’re screwed.

Secret Santa

Personally, I’ve been getting myself mentally prepared for this slump, saying “Self, don’t panic, it’s gonna be crickets out there for at least the next 3 weeks, maybe 4 even!” But just because I’m not in an office doesn’t mean I can’t play Secret Santa, right!?

So, because this pre-christmas slump sucks the very marrow out of the active job seeker, I’m giving my gift out a little early. I dug into the Secret Santa sock and I got……DAVE CUTLER!!

Hire DAVE CUTLER

Dave Cutler is my friend. But we’ve never met in real life, as is the case with many people I call friends in this space. We bonded over Twitter, and I quickly realized that this guy was sorta my psychic twin. We both have a healthy cynical bent, snarky senses of humour, houses that constantly need work, and empty bank accounts. Cue the rainbows and unicorns! But more than that, we are both unemployed at the same time (see empty bank accounts, above), and I quickly realized three things:

  • It’s a true gift to find someone outside of your home space, someone other than your spouse and spawn, to bitch and moan with (trust me when I say, it gets old *real fast* and the spouse needs a break).
  • I found a person who can cheerlead from the front lines -  and vice versa. We created a two member club (of which I am the President, natch’) of mutual adoration, a place of wonderfulness where – miraculously – just when it’s most needed the other person is there to boost spirits and reassure that all will be ok!
  • And the third thing I realized is that Dave Cutler is scary dedicated to his goal of landing a great social media gig. No. Really. He’s like a dog with a bone!! Impressive does not cover it.

DAVE CUTLER Works Overtime!

Dave lives in Boston. He’s a loving husband and dad to two adorable imps. And he doesn’t do anything by halves! Already accomplished in Marketing and Production Management, when he was laid off (due to corporate restructuring) he dove headfirst into social media. He completed the Mini-MBA program at Rutgers University and holds a Certificate in Social Media Marketing. He is a ubiquitous presence in the Boston scene – many of you in the area have probably met him – and attends every conference, seminar, tweet-up, workshop, webinar and networking group available. People say that looking for work is a full time job. Well, Dave works overtime!

An accomplished writer, blogger and interviewer, Dave already has many influential people pulling for him. And if the old ‘birds of a feather’ thing that my mom always preached is true (which it is) then that speaks volumes to the man’s character. You can watch Chris Brogan in action here!

DAVE CUTLER Has True Grit

Dave Cutler’s resume clearly illustrates that he’s got the chops. What you don’t see from a resume is the man himself. He puts me to shame with his drive and determination. This is someone you want on your team – a fierce and creative go-getter with a great sense of humour, never ending curiosity about the industry, amazing connections and an indefatigable spirit. Add that to his experience in marketing and sales, his deep and intuitive knowledge of the social media space, and his mad skills in networking and relationship management and you’ve got yourself one fine addition to your company. He has quite literally – and very successfully – ‘Community Managed’ his own brand for the last year or so. He should be managing YOUR brand.

So, that’s my Secret Santa gift to my deserving friend Dave. I’m no Gini Dietrich, and this isn’t a Follow Friday! :) But maybe I can help spread the word a little about this talented guy. He and I have both said that 2012 better look out. Let’s get it started now!

Dave’s on LinkedIn and Twitter, and you can find his resume, videos and writing on his blog!

A Social Media Mea Culpa

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I don’t use this space to rant and rave about products or companies. Well, I haven’t yet, anyhow. Until today.

Let me preface by saying I have no professional affiliation whatsoever with this product. Beyond being – ahem – intimately familiar with its invaluable contribution to the lives of women everywhere. Every month. That’s right my friends I’m talking about tampons! Say it loud and say it proud!

More specifically, I’m talking about OB tampons, the great “disappearing tampon mystery of 2011”, and one of the funniest ‘I’m sorry’ campaigns I’ve seen in awhile.

Missteps And Mysteries

To back up, the story begins in late 2010 with mysteriously OB-depleted pharmacy shelves. When women realized that this wasn’t just a blip in delivery schedules, they frantically bought up what remained in bulk – in some cases selling them on EBay for upwards of $99.00 a box. Ultimately, the company stopped producing what was a hugely reliable line favourite – its Ultra line.

Hell Hath No Fury

People complained, message boards sprung up as answers were sought, and in what was a bit of an ass-backwards reaction, certainly in this day and age of rapid response word of mouth marketing and social media, the company kept quiet. And, well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! The OB ‘cult following’ as some media quaintly called them were outraged. And really, who can blame them. The feminine hygiene industry is a multi-billion dollar industry controlled by a handful of companies. They’ve never been particularly transparent, and have a history of infantilizing what for half the population is a very real and sometimes messy issue – an issue dealt with for three months out of every year. As one Toronto women was quoted as saying (and I say myself at least once a month :) ) “If men had to stick something into their penis once a month, this would be a bigger deal.”

However, this is not some quasi feminist rant about monthly cycles. That’s for another blog. This is about me watching a hilarious and brilliantly conceived mea culpa by OB.

Red White And Blue

Fact: advertisers and ‘icky female products’ have never gotten along. And that’s putting it mildly. The early days were epic - “Kotex tampons are a lot like you. Soft and natural”. And this one. Now with deodorant! Best news of the month! (really?). And they didn’t get much better. Cheese ball ads with moms and best girlfriends, white clothing and couches, thins, wings, and sport products (uh, what?) and that euphemistically used blue liquid. (I would love to talk to the ad person who decided on blue).

Triple Sorry!

Yes, it’s a bit like shooting fish in a barrel to poke fun at girly products and advertising. And that’s why I wanted to give a thundering standing ovation to OB and their team. They finally got it – a day late and dollar short, maybe - but they understood that it’s never too late to say you’re sorry!

Not only are they working hard to bring back the Ultra product line that their customers have been clamoring for, they responded with a cheeky little video that masterfully sends up feminine product advertising – from the white pant wearing Ryan Gosling’esque crooner on the piano singing a personalized song ‘just for you’ (key in your name and see), to hearts and rose petals (RED ones!!), beaches, doves, triple rainbows, and the ubiquitous (white pant wearing) crotch shot. Oh man. They nailed it. And I love it.

So, three cheers to *OB tampons. And thanks for saying you’re triple sorry. Apology accepted.

*NOTE: I don’t use OB products, and have no affiliation whatsoever with them or their parent companies.

What are your thoughts on this ‘apology campaign’? Too little too late? Love it or hate it? Please leave your thoughts below!  

The Social Media Minefield – Throw Away The Rulebook

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Lately I’ve been thinking about my love/hate relationship with rules. And ‘love/hate’ might not be the best turn of phrase for how I feel about them. More like ‘follower/who cares’er’.

Rules Rock!

The follower part is simple. I was raised to be a contributing member of society. To work hard and earn my own way. And to respect my elders/authority figures. I’ve never scammed the government. I don’t damage other people’s property. And I would never – ever – take something that wasn’t mine. Not a lie, to this *day* I’ve never been pulled over by the cops. If I was? I think I would wet myself. Don’t even ask me how stressed I get when traveling and crossing borders. And when I get stressed I use humour. At the most inopportune moments. Like when I told the TSA people at Boston Logan that had I known I would be passing through a full body scanner, I would have gone on a diet. Heh. Hindenburg.

We all get that there’s an essential place for certain rules in our everyday society. If not we would all be living a la Lord of The Flies in our respective neighbourhoods. There are just things you *don’t do*, out of respect and consideration for the people around you. But some rules….

Meh, Who Cares

The ‘who cares’er’ part of me is more….personal. We don’t follow the clock about what time dinner is. We often hunker down in front of the TV and eat (I know, *big* no no, right?). My house – which is often a mess – wasn’t decked out with myriad baby protection devices when my boy was little. He survived relatively unscathed. We didn’t ‘do’ Halloween this year. I don’t ‘act my age’, whatever that means, and I rarely censor myself. But I’m no idiot either (see above re: respect for authority). All the hard work and sacrifice that has me where – and who – I am today didn’t come without a steep learning curve.

The Social Media Minefield 

Social media is awash with rules and tips and steps and guidelines. And I get that from a business perspective one needs a rule book, a way to empower employees, protect your brand and make sure that everyone is on the same page. But individually? Personally? All of these rules and guidelines are scaring Joe Public away. Take Twitter for example. I speak to people *every single day* who are terrified of Twitter. They tell me they have nothing to say. That they don’t get it. That they will screw up somehow if they’re on it. These conversations drive me crazier than a fruit bat. Because it’s not TRUE.

Live In Social Media The Way You Live In Life!

Life is messy. People fail, epically at times. But usually we learn from these missteps and mistakes. So, whether you’re too scared to try or just starting out, stop worrying about a rule book and consider these simple tips:

Don’t Be A Tool: Use your common sense. Treat people online the same way you would treat them face to face. Don’t think that because you are sitting behind a keyboard and pressing send instead of looking someone straight in the eyes that your words don’t have the power to hurt. Read this article by Erika Napoletano (better known as @Redheadwriting) one of the most supremely hardcore online woman I know, if you don’t believe me.

Be Yourself: Social media is about voice and personality. When you fake it, it shows. One of the best compliments I received recently was from Martin Waxman, Principal at Martin Waxman Communications and Senior Counselor at Thornley Fallis Communications, who said my offline voice and online voice were identical (thanks again Martin!). Why was that so important to me? Because when I finally meet in person the amazing friends I’ve made online, or get that job interview, they won’t be disappointed (or disturbed) by what comes to the table. High five! :) Also, if you *are* a tool (see above), don’t bother hiding it. If the offline you and the online you don’t match – eventually you will be found out.

Be Yourself, But With A Gut-Check: Again, just like real life. For example, I can use humour in spectacularly inappropriate ways. And I curse like a sailor. So I choose my times carefully. I’m not gonna crack dead baby jokes, or drop the F-bomb during business hours. And that’s just me, because many do! Again, I’m not following any rule here but my own. Show some respect, same as you were taught at your parents’ knee. Get a feel for your community, and learn when the fun starts – my Twitter friends seem to be fun and frisky all day on Fridays – no surprise there. And loosen up a bit ‘after hours’, just like in real life.

Stop Worrying: Social media types (myself included) harp on and on about being HUMAN. But often we’re the first to forget that very thing. We are all human beings on here. Some are more accomplished than others. Some are more – ahem – human than others. Just like out there in the real world. People make mistakes. But if you are genuine, allow time to cultivate and befriend a likeminded community, and treat everyone with the respect they deserve, when you make that **mistake…? You will be able to laugh it off and chalk it up to a learning experience. Just like you’ve been doing your whole life.

**NOTE: Expect to be eviscerated, skewered, and thoroughly roasted by your wonderful online friends – all in good fun of course – if you drunk Tweet even once. Trust me. I know.

Thoughts? What would you add? Am I right that our own personal set of morals and values when it comes to interacting with people can guide us through the social minefield? 

Wistful Thinking – We Used To Wait

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It’s Friday. I should be sharing my early angst’y writing from back in the day with you. But I can’t. My head is all over the place today. Trying to settle, and won’t. Thinking about our times, these days, and how everything’s changed. Watched my son chatting with his friend on Facebook last night, and an image – a memory – from my childhood popped into my brain. Dragging the phone which was very much attached to the wall into my bedroom.

And talking – talking! – to my friends for hours. Dad bellowing “..get off the phone!! I might miss a call!” No call waiting in those days. Remember busy signals? I remember rotary phones. But then I remember morning milk delivery also.

I’m not even *that* old. I wonder if my Mom or Dad ever felt like this. Had their own memories. Watching me wear out my walkman in an existential teenage funk.

My dad was what you’d call a late adopter. Like, really late. We didn’t have cable TV until I was in my teens. And when he did adopt? Let me put it this way. We had a Sony Betamax.

When I was a kid, I didn’t know what a computer was. I didn’t use a computer until I was in my 20’s. I had pen pals. There are no recordings of my friends and I acting like dorks and dressing up like Duran Duran (Yeah. I said it.) I had decades of being unreachable. Years of feeling lonely. Real time alone. Boredom. I could hide. My child will never know what that feels like. I don’t know what I’m feeling today. It’s not nostalgia. This world is too exciting and full of growth and expectation for that. Am I wistful? Maybe. I’m not sure I know why though. I think I’ll just sink into the feeling. The memories.

I know one thing, Arcade Fire nailed it recently with these lyrics from their song “We Used To Wait” (man, can they write wistful lyrics) – live version of the tune here.

We used to wait. I can’t even wait thirty seconds for a file to load these days.

Arcade Fire – We Used To Wait

I used to write, I used to write letters I used to sign my name

I used to sleep at night, Before the flashing lights settled deep in my brain

But by the time we met, By the time we met the times had already changed

So I never wrote a letter, I never took my true heart I never wrote it down

So when the lights cut out, I was left standing in the wilderness downtown

Now our lives are changing fast, Now our lives are changing fast

Hope that something pure can last, Hope that something pure can last

It seems strange, How we used to wait for letters to arrive

But what’s stranger still, Is how something so small can keep you alive

 

 

Social Influence Scoring: Ranting Is Fun!

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My good friend and fellow blogger Jason Konopinski wrote a post last week that seriously got me fired up. In a good way. Titled “The Paper Tigers of Online Influence”, even the image he used made me stop and think (origami is insanely complicated but the outcome is really cool – like statistics – hmmmm.) “Paper Tiger” is an english translation of an ancient Chinese phrase. It means something as threatening as a tiger, but actually quite quite harmless. Kinda like “its bark is worse than it’s bite”. It’s fitting that Jason was talking about online influence and social scoring.

Klout Clout?

When Klout changed it’s algorithms recently, the social media glitterati saw their scores plummet. Oh, the outrage!! Twitter was aflame with complaints and comments. Some were having some fun with it (OMG! How shall I live another day!), tongue firmly planted in cheek. Even Klout’s VP of Sales winkingly revealed that his own score dropped by 14 points. But others were really upset. It’s no secret that people love to hate Klout. And I agree that there is much more to measuring influence than one’s online activity. See PeekYou for some serious statistics on the power of your audience, as well as those who are passive rather then active influencers.

Social Currency

Jason’s post was written from a blogger’s perspective, and he talked about the trust involved in creating content for strangers, the value (or not) or shares and RTs, and about online influence and its ‘measure’ablity’. Among the many things in this post that resonated with me was what he said about online ‘trust’, how there is no clear and measurable connection between a button click and an endorsement of trust. Yes please! Absolutely spot on statement. As he said “We’re all in the business of accumulating and spending social currency through the relationships that we forge but still make snap value-judgements based on someone’s perceived notoriety in the digital ecosystem based on fan counts, following: follower ratios, list rankings and the lot. The question remains – are we chasing paper tigers?” His answer? Yes. And I agree.

So, I left a comment. That went on. And on. And on! Thankfully he humoured me and didn’t delete it (he might have even clicked ‘like’! :) ) Thank you Jason, for inspiring the comment – dare I say rant – below.

My Rant On Social Influence (edited slightly to correct ranting errors)

Ok, this is gonna be fun. First, I am sick to death of people crapping all over Klout. I mean, if you really take it as some grandiose measure of all that you are, then you have some issues. But I see it as a bit of a game – and I think it’s fun. We are all programmed to want “reward” – it’s how you train your dog, kid, yourself. And when my Klout score goes up, I get a little buzz from that. Like I said, it’s a video game to me. Liking it doesn’t make one a moron (which tends to be the buzz from the Twitter big heads). And ‘easy’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Popularity contests have been around since the beginning of time, and they aren’t going away – it’s only the visual indicators (as you said above, followers, list rankings, etc.) and ways of measuring said popularity that have changed. And there are two sides to this sword – the ‘marketing’ side – where, IMHO, PeekYou and those of that ilk actually have considerable merit (who are my consumers? what are they doing? how influential are they?). And then there’s the ‘social’ side. I don’t engage with a person based on their social standings – yes, as in real life, many DO do that, sadly – but *my* social relationships have been built the human way – by getting to know someone (like YOU for example!), by gut checking on that person’s view of the world, sense of humour, etc., and by determining ultimately if we ‘click’. It’s my active choice to place “trust” in a relationship – and my fault if I get it wrong. Anyone who puts trust in social engagement based solely on social influence rankings is a tool. But hey, maybe that’s just me. The people who share my blog are 99.9% of the time people I have built real relationships with. And that’s why those shares and RTs make me squee a bit. Because it means that those people trust me also, and they trust my output, and want to share it with their friends and followers. K, I better shut up now.

Annnnnnd SCENE.

What about you? Who do you trust and why? Are you influenced by people’s online ‘social status’? Think Klout carries a lot of clout? Would love to hear your thoughts.