It’s Friday. I should be sharing my early angst’y writing from back in the day with you. But I can’t. My head is all over the place today. Trying to settle, and won’t. Thinking about our times, these days, and how everything’s changed. Watched my son chatting with his friend on Facebook last night, and an image – a memory – from my childhood popped into my brain. Dragging the phone which was very much attached to the wall into my bedroom.
And talking – talking! – to my friends for hours. Dad bellowing “..get off the phone!! I might miss a call!” No call waiting in those days. Remember busy signals? I remember rotary phones. But then I remember morning milk delivery also.
I’m not even *that* old. I wonder if my Mom or Dad ever felt like this. Had their own memories. Watching me wear out my walkman in an existential teenage funk.
When I was a kid, I didn’t know what a computer was. I didn’t use a computer until I was in my 20’s. I had pen pals. There are no recordings of my friends and I acting like dorks and dressing up like Duran Duran (Yeah. I said it.) I had decades of being unreachable. Years of feeling lonely. Real time alone. Boredom. I could hide. My child will never know what that feels like. I don’t know what I’m feeling today. It’s not nostalgia. This world is too exciting and full of growth and expectation for that. Am I wistful? Maybe. I’m not sure I know why though. I think I’ll just sink into the feeling. The memories.
I know one thing, Arcade Fire nailed it recently with these lyrics from their song “We Used To Wait” (man, can they write wistful lyrics) – live version of the tune here.
We used to wait. I can’t even wait thirty seconds for a file to load these days.
Arcade Fire – We Used To Wait
I used to write, I used to write letters I used to sign my name
I used to sleep at night, Before the flashing lights settled deep in my brain
But by the time we met, By the time we met the times had already changed
So I never wrote a letter, I never took my true heart I never wrote it down
So when the lights cut out, I was left standing in the wilderness downtown
Now our lives are changing fast, Now our lives are changing fast
Hope that something pure can last, Hope that something pure can last
It seems strange, How we used to wait for letters to arrive
But what’s stranger still, Is how something so small can keep you alive